how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
