When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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