I heard we made out
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
