My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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