if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
