what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
