I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
