can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
