Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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