"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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