And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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