Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
