No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
