I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
