i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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