You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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