I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
