the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
