You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
