i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
