now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
