Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
