another moral hangover. fuck.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
