I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
