she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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