i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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