Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
