insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
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You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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