love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
