Can i not drive my cunt home
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
