so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize