Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
