I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
