You can't special order awesome
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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