bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
