Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
