Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
