Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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