So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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