Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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