good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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