i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize