Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
