I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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