I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
