I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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