ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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