he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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