Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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