I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
