yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
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