if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I will be naked everywhere
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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