I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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