He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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