I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
