your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
