Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
