Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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