im drinking this country out of the recession.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
